Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
