You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
