The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I can't turn off my feet"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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