Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
