people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
