Are we in a gay sports bar?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
