I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
