singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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