Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
