As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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