do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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