I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
