If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize