Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
