I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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