Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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