How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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