paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
