I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
