She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
