it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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