I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
