all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
