The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
