I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
sarcasm needs its own font
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
