its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
