I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Say something about gay babies.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
