Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
