And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
