So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We were destined to go to rehab together
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
