It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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