just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
