When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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