Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
