I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Please don't give away my fajitas
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
