how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize