i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
