so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
