What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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