Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Randomize