So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
