A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
