Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
