I'm drive I can fine osifer
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
