so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
