you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
