I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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