i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You should frame my arrest warrant.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
