trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
