I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
