One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
