I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
