I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize