Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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