i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
