Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize