you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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